Getting Scared

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Do you ever get so scared that you think about crawling into bed, and never coming out? Do you ever imagine being safe inside a warm cuddly teddy bear and then you wake up cause you were sleeping and you realize you’re completely wet from standing in the rain and totally naked, bare of the elements that you were hoping to never face?

No?

Okay well this is awkward.

I was hoping you’d say somethin like, YES, that happens to me all the time, I totally get you!!

Fine, don’t go there with me. But inside, inside I know you get scared too.

When I was little I used to think about what it would be like to be fearless. Really fearless. Really DAMN fearless. Then I’d get so scared that I would stop thinking that heathen way, and go back to my normal. I often wonder what Superman feels like. How cool must it be to know every element in the world is your bitch. You got nothing to be fearful of but fear itself.

I grew up in the 80’s I know what Superman is. I just never thought his super strength or super courage  was possible. To be completely and utterly unafraid seems so foreign to me.

And yet.

Today I will awaken renewed, peak over my shoulder, maybe see a red cape fluttering in the wind and become unafraid, undaunted, unrestrained, unreserved to the possibility that I too can be fearless in the face of flying aliens in black plastic leotards.  And its because I grew up in the 80’s and watched those “Supersize me” commercials, where Burger King sandwiches were being sold not for their taste but for their size, and the “where’s the beef” slogan was not for the flavor but for its gargantuan proportions that I will finally be able to let go of my puny self image and become the gigantesourous monstrous large courageous creature I am meant to become. (But still skinny)

Get Real or Go Home

By, chava Tombosky

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Don’t Live out Loud ALL THE TIME

Today I was told I need to stop being a scared little sissy and say what’s really on my mind.  I tried it a few times, and wound up pissing people off. First I told my mother what I thought about her new boyfriend.  Then I told my sister what I thought about her living situation. Finally I told my other sister to stop bein a baby and eat a fro yo (that’s frozen yogurt for you idiots in the Midwest) despite her latest tonsillectomy.  So ya, this “living out loud” thing, it hasn’t been going to well.  (obviously)

When I decided to start living out loud, I didn’t realize I wasn’t supposed tell everyone else how to live.

Clearly that DOESN’T work.

So tonight I’m gonna concentrate on telling myself what Not to do.

1. Chava, do not tell your mother how or what to date. DO Tell her you love her, even if you secretly wish she finds a man named “Javier” who owns his own island.

2. Do not lecture your sisters on how to be grown ups, they get enough of that from FOX News. Do tell them how awesome they are, even if it means your sister still can’t use a straw because her entire throat’s been cut out.

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This is me signing out, hoping I get it right tomorrow.  And yes, I’m still a little sissy.

Get real or go home-

By, Chava Tombosky