The Ninja

Here’s a post from my incredible baby sister. We are eighteen years apart. I am clearly the younger looking one. I couldn’t be more proud of her for writing this post. It is DAYUM GOOD. So what if I had to drug her to get it! – Chava (Otherwise known as Thelma)

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THE NINJA

By, Rocky Shallman

They say they give the difficult struggles to the toughest warriors right? Well than i must be one mother freakin ninja! Despite just getting my entire throat cut out thanks to my lovely ENT doctor who decided this after one time too many battles with strep. Everyday I live with a kidney disorder called FSGS.

Thats short for focalsegmentalglomeularscleroris.

Now try saying that 10x fast. Its disorder that not many people know of.  For one, you don’t hear that name being thrown around. I mean between the Kim Kardashian proposal of the century and Miley Cyrus twerking , its difficult to fit that big ass word in there. This disease is a difficult one though, they call it a silent killer. It has to do with having small tears on my kidneys which leak out stuff well that just should not leak out. So when that starts to leak out, I start retaining fluid which makes me look like a little blown up jellybean. (Yes i used jellybean, it felt right being its halloween and all). Everyday I wake up and take a really small white pill that keeps my blood pressure low and my kidneys all in tact.  Most days I feel great, and I don’t even know I have this little challenge.

I’m not one for exposing myself like this, but lately I’ve decided that instead of pretending this all doesnt exist,  I should embrace it. I should just embrace the crap out of it. So I guess thats my big fear. The fear of waking up everyday thinking are my kidneys going to stop working and which assholes in my family am I going to steal one from? Eventhough I know I would never have to steal cuz they would all give one up in a heart beat. Everything I’ve been through in my life has given me a reason to be scared of at least one thing. But today’s the day that I decide that instead of being scared , I  should just embrace it.  Embrace it all.   Cause at the end of the day all you have is the story that God wrote for you to show off to the world.
Now lets hope these pain killers wear off before I decide to send this to my sister”s blog for the whole world to see.

(Too late Rox, You are a warrior, and I’M SO FLIPPIN PROUD OF YOU!! Love, Thelma)

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